Broken Heart (Broken Heart #1) Read online

  leaned over me spreading open my legs with his knee. He gently kissed me, slowly sliding his tongue across my lips then reaching my tongue as I parted my lips to kiss him back. Our eyes met

  and at that moment, I stared at Michael apprehensively and then looked towards my purse on the living room table. He looked at me curiously and I motioned to hand me the purse.

  “Right now, baby?” I lifted myself off of the floor leaning on my elbows, opened my purse, and took out a condom.

  “I’m clean Jenesis, don’t you trust me?” he whispered as he looked at me with his lustrous eyes.

  “No, it’s not that… I just don’t want to get pregnant. I’m not on the pill,” I answered, embarrassed. Michael was older than me. He knew what he wanted and nothing was going to stop him. Even

  with that said, he was hard, and ready to take the plunge. He wanted me, condom, no condom, anyway he could get me.

  “Jenesis, put it on. I want you. I need you. Now, baby, now,” he said as he motioned for me to place the condom over him, even though I didn’t know how to, it really didn’t take a genius to

  figure it out. It slipped on smoothly and it fit him perfectly, thank God, I bought the right size extra-large. He was as solid as a rock and was ready for me. He kissed my forehead, and then

  kissed me on both sides of my cheek, giving me a quick peck on my nose and smiling. He took his tongue and slid it up and down my neck passionately sending chills up and down my spine. My

  legs were already open, spread wide apart, desperately waiting for him to be inside of me. His eyes were beaming at me as if enjoying the fact that he would be the first person to go in and explore

  uncharted territory. He rubbed me gently between my legs with his tip, and then circled my pulsating flesh with his thumb.

  “I think you’re ready…are you? Are you ready for me, baby?” he said gaping at me with those big blue-green eyes sliding his wet palm, with my juices, up and down my entrance.

  “Yes, yes, I am,” I purred.

  He teasingly slid his tip up and down against me, before entering his love into mine, a little at a time… and I can feel him… slowly… tearing into me, filling me completely, little by little with

  each gentle thrust… and it hurt. It stung. He broke me in. I looked at him with pain in my eyes, biting on my bottom lip and panting at the same time. He gently pulled out and said,

  “Am I hurting you?”

  I looked up at him with teary eyes and I placed my hands on his ass and pushed him inside of me.

  “No,” I whispered, even though it really did hurt like hell.

  We slowly intertwined and with each soft penetration of his incredible love, I could feel my insides opening, tearing apart, wider and wider and then he fills me, completely and the feeling of hurt quickly turned into intoxicating pleasure. I found myself stroking him passionately back and forth

  using the force of my hips to grab everything that was inside of me. He was thick and hard, leaving me no room to get away from his grip. He was in control and had me pinned against the floor. I

  held on to him tightly and wrapped my legs around him. I wanted him to feel me, really feel me. He was dripping with sweat, the tiny beads resting on the top of his heart shaped lips. He pushed

  into me, slowly, deeper and deeper, in a rhythm I so desperately tried to follow, while making a moaning sound of pleasure with every thrust.

  “Are you ok, baby?” he whispered in my ear as he kissed my neck tenderly. The sweat dripped down from the side of his forehead as he stared at me with lust in his eyes. I didn’t want him to stop. I glanced up at him and as I stroked his face tenderly, I whispered,

  “Yes.”

  He held my hands against the floor threading his fingers through mine. I bit my bottom lip as I closed my eyes in ecstasy. My body was wavering uncontrollably as he pumped inside of me, slamming me into the hard wood floor. He touched every part of my body and soul in a way I

  never thought possible. He kissed me passionately, licking my lips sensually, slowly and wrapping his tongue around mine. I couldn’t get enough of him.

  I didn’t want to let him go. I couldn’t help but melt into his eyes; they were a perfect shade of blue-green and more mesmerizing than ever. I gazed back at him letting him know that he hit every spot between my legs that sent me into a tailspin of ecstasy. My heart was pounding and my breathing

  erratic. He held my hands tighter and tighter, closing his eyes as the moans of glory slipped out of his beautiful parted lips. Then it happened,

  “Oh God…Michael…Michael!” I cried out.

  For the very first time in my life, I could feel myself losing control of my body. I became overpowered by this mouthwatering feeling of pleasure that resonated through my body. My legs began to shake underneath him. I stared at him passionately, my eyes opened suddenly, biting my

  bottom lip, then my mouth closed tightly and I began to moan and groan. My head tilted back as I lifted it off of the floor, arching my back, my hips banging harshly against him, my eyes closed

  shut and I felt this uncontrollable urge to yell, I tried to hold it in, but I couldn’t! I couldn’t! I yelled,

  “Oh God! Michael!”

  I pushed against him as every muscle in my body tensed up around him. My mind was wandering in his grasp as he held me tight and pushed into me as deep as he could. I yelled out his name, closing my eyes as I came apart around him, the warm, wet liquid covering his manhood, while

  my muscles contracted. I lost all control of my limbs, they felt weak, and I was exhausted from the aftershock of the explosion within me. Michael’s face tensed as his efforts to push his body

  right through mine pushed him over the edge. He opened his eyes and then shut them tightly and cried out, “Jenesis! Oh God! Baby! Fuck!” He shook passionately as he came inside of me, his

  blue-green eyes exploded with relief as he dropped his head in between my breasts. I slid my fingers through his silky black hair and caressed his head on my chest. He lifted his head glancing

  up at me, leaned over and kissed me gently on the nose. I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him gently on his beautiful heart-shaped lips. He leaned his head on my shoulder and rubbed his

  nose gently against it. He was still breathing hard, and I could still feel him jolting slightly inside of me. He lifted his head and smiled at me kissing my lips that were salty from my sweat and his.

  He pulled out of me gently, holding on to the condom and then slid it off. It dripped of my love and… my blood. My heart began sprinting against my chest and panic set in. My mother didn’t

  tell me sex for the first time would hurt like hell and that I would bleed. I was terrified and felt foolish at the same time for being so naïve and inexperienced. I placed my hand between my legs,

  lifted my hand in front of me, and saw my blood that lightly covered my fingers. My eyes welled up with tears and my body began to tremble.

  “You’re ok. You’re ok…come here.” Michael said as he gently lifted me up and carried me to the bathroom with urgency. He ran the warm water and filled up the tub as I stood there standing naked

  in front of the man I loved; the man who took my virginity. I almost felt violated and I didn’t understand why. “Come, sit here with me,” he whispered as he reached out for my hand. You could

  tell he was nervous and almost felt guilty that I was hurting. I stepped into the tub as Michael held my hand then followed me in.

  We sat together in the tub facing one another. I was shivering as he placed his arms around me. I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. I felt guilty and

  I didn’t understand why. I’ve waited for this day to come. It’s exactly how I thought it would be minus the pain. He grabbed the bar of soap, lathered his hands, and slid them under the water to

  find the spot between my legs that was torn and wounded. He washed me gently as I cringed from the sting of my torn flower. He rinsed his hand with the tub water and
lathered them again, washing

  my shoulders, caressing my back, then my breasts, then my thighs. He looked so happy and satisfied, but you could see the concern in his eyes, the worry, because he felt sorry for me that he

  hurt me, unintentionally of course, but I guess he couldn’t help it. Meanwhile, I felt an alarming urge to cry and I couldn’t hold back. The tears flowed down my face and I began to sob.

  “I hope those are tears of joy. Baby, please… what’s wrong?” he whispered as he kissed my forehead.

  “I’m not going to lie…it hurt…a lot…but…I’m happy, too. I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed,” I said as I tried hard to smile. I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders. He grabbed me by the waist and held me tightly against his chest. I was dying inside and I didn’t understand why.

  “Jenesis, my sweet, sweet Jenesis. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but that happens sometimes, it stings a little and you might bleed. Didn’t your mother ever tell you that? I mean, I know you’re an adult

  and all but…” He uttered those words into my hair close to my ear. Those words hit me hard and I sobbed even louder. I couldn’t believe how much I loved him and how little I knew about having

  sex for the first time. Even though I felt guilty, I knew I couldn’t change what happened and I didn’t want to. My father made me live with so much guilt; guilty when I peed on myself as a child

  when I heard his voice, guilty when I dressed up for my prom, and guilty for never loving him as much as I loved my mother.

  “No she didn’t and I’m sad to say, this is why I miss her so much. I need her. I’m sorry for acting like a child. I just didn’t know I would feel this way” I slid under the water up to my shoulders. I was shaking and he noticed.

  “I love you, Jenesis. You don’t need anyone else but me,” he whispered into my hair.

  I turned around in the tub and leaned my back against his chest. He placed his arms around my waist and held me lovingly as his pointer finger circled gently around my belly button. I felt so

  loved…so…wanted. I sat thinking about how we just made love. How I lost my virginity to this perfect man. My body tingled all over with pure delight. I felt the sexual energy creeping up between my legs again. I sat up slowly as I push my bottom against him. I wanted him again and by the bulge that throbbed against my lower back…he felt the same way. Michael stood up and lifted me gently out of the water. He was hard…he was wet…and I wanted nothing more than to be hurting all over again the way he hurt me the first time…with that craving and longing for me…only me. We wasted no time drying ourselves and we laid in my bed as he tore into me once more…gently…rough…the way he knew I liked it…there…right there…hitting that spot over and over until the sun came up, until I fell apart around him over and over. I only had one condom left in my purse…and throughout the night…one condom wasn’t enough. I loved him. Oh, how I loved him. I never felt this way about any other man. He was the only man I ever made love to… and…I knew in my heart… he would be the last.

  CHAPTER 11

  The next morning we awoke in each other’s arms, wrapped like a bow on a Christmas gift. Our legs entangled and his head gently snuggled between my breasts. I felt safe and I wasn’t afraid. The guilty feeling was long gone and I never wanted to feel that way again.

  “Morning, baby,” Michael said as he held his hand over his mouth.

  “Morning,” I said as I held my hand over his hand and laughed. Michael gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and jumped out of the bed.

  “I have to go.”

  “Where?” I asked curiously as my heart stopped beating for a moment with disappointment.

  “I have an appointment at the firm for Tina Danielson’s Case.” He walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower water and jumped in.

  “Oh…okay!” I shouted. I lay in the bed with the sheets wrapped around me as the smell of sex ignited the air. I waited patiently for him to return to bed and slip under the covers with me.

  Michael walked out of the bathroom in a towel wrapped around his waist. My mouth watered as I stared at him walking towards the bed. He walked over to the dresser instead and pulled out a pair

  of boxers, and then started to get dressed. He sat on the bed as he pulled up his socks and put on his shoes.

  “I was hoping we could have round two today…or maybe three and four like last night.” I grabbed him by the arm so he wouldn’t leave.

  “I have to go, but I’ll come back tonight.” I followed him to the living room wrapped in the bed sheet and watched him as he grabbed his belt and wallet from the table. I stood by the couch as

  Michael rushed out the door to leave. He didn’t even kiss me. I was stunned when he walked out shutting the door behind him. I immediately felt abandoned and those feelings of mistrust came

  crashing back. I didn’t understand why he was in such a rush. I didn’t want to overthink things so I walked into the bathroom and took a shower to ease my nerves.

  I sat waiting for my cell phone to ring flipping through the channels on the television. I thought about what my father said, “Men are cheaters, even your husband.” I didn’t understand what was

  happening to me. It’s nine thirty at night and he still hasn’t called. I started to panic and it brought back a memory when my father left me at the bus stop when I was six.

  “You stay there and don’t move, you here? This is what happens to little girls who don’t listen to their fathers when they tell them to clean off their plate,” he said as he left me standing near the bus stop in the pitch dark.

  My father walked back around the car into the driver’s seat and lowered the passenger window and said,

  “Now, you stay put. If you’re not there when I get back, I’ll bring you back and this time…I won’t come back…Next time listen to your daddy, Jenesis.” The wheels of the car screeched as he drove away leaving me there…alone…in the dark. I looked around as my eyes became large to adjust to

  the darkness, my heart was pounding and my little hands were clutched together. I remember holding back the tears, in case he came back to get me. My father left me there for three hours. A

  young couple coming out of Shoprite saw me sitting on the bench alone and crying as I sucked my thumb to numb the pain.

  “Sweetie, are you alone?” the woman asked with a curious but warm smile.

  I nodded my head.

  “Come on sweetie, I’m going to take you somewhere safe,” she said as the man she was with grabbed me underneath my arms and picked me up.

  “I’m not going to hurt you sweetie, Debra…call 911,” he said to the woman as he patted me gently on my back. He was a strong, tall man and was wearing a robust but sweet smelling cologne that I recognized but I didn’t know from where.

  They sat on the bench with me as I sat on this tall man’s lap. The police car came, flashing its lights, blue, red, and white. And the sirens were deafening to my little ears. I covered my ears as

  the tall man held me a little tighter to reassure me it was ok. I was terrified to see the police. I knew when I saw the police someone did something wrong.

  “Hey there little miss, where’s your mommy?” the police officer said as he brushed my face softly with the back of his hand. I grabbed Mr. Strong and held my arms tightly around his neck and shook my head.

  “It’s okay...you have to tell them,” he whispered gently. I looked up at him, his eyes smiled at me. He had the biggest green eyes and such a comforting smile. I placed my thumb in my mouth and he gently pulled it out saying,

  “Now…be a good little girl and tell us where they are…okay?”

  “Daddy’s home with mommy,” I said then placed my thumb back in my mouth. As I leaned back into Mr. Strong’s arms, I saw my father’s car driving up to the bus stop. I immediately peed on myself all over Mr.

  Strong’s pants. He stood still and looked at me as he noticed my reaction to the car pulling up in front of us. He motioned to
the police officer to walk over to him and he whispered,

  “I think that might be her father…She just peed on herself…I think she’s afraid.” The officer walked over to the car. My father parked the car and then walked out very slowly.

  “Princess!” he shouted as he gave me a look of “I’m going to beat the hell out of you as soon as we get home”. I held Mr. Strong tighter than I ever held anyone in my life. He held me tight as my father approached us.

  “Where have you been we’ve been looking for you all over the place? Let’s go…” he said as he held out his arms to grab me. I quickly took my thumb out of my mouth and looked at the passenger seat, tilting my head around my father’s body to see if my mother was there. She wasn’t.

  The police officer picked me up and handed me to my father. My father’s face winced as he felt my wet bottom on his arm. The officer stood talking with my father as I stared at Mr. Strong. Mr. strong stood staring at me, his pants wet and his green eyes filled with sorrow. I wanted to stay

  with Mr. Strong. I felt safe in his arms. My father then placed me in the car seat in the back of the car. Mr. Strong spoke to the officer and I waved my little hand at him as my father drove off.

  “You did it now, you little bitch…wait ‘til you get home,” he said as he looked through the rear view mirror at me with hate in his deep brown eyes. I peed on myself again in my car seat and

  clutched my hands tightly. I stared out of the window hoping to see Mr. strong so he could take me…take me away…take me away.

  My cell phone rang and I jumped. It was Dave.

  “Hey Jen, I wanted to know if you could work this Sunday? Jen, are you there?” He said as he was chewing on something. “Umm…yes…yeah…sure.” I snapped back into reality not completely escaping the memory. My heart was beating fast and I found it difficult to speak.

  “Okay…see you Sunday at six. Oh, and brunch…don’t forget about brunch. Thanks, little lady.” He hung up the phone before I could say goodbye. I was preoccupied with the thoughts of my